Post by Joyce on May 21, 2004 23:18:42 GMT 7
*I forgot to enter the subject at first and they told me to press back and enter it, and the whole chunk of message was lost....got to write all over again..sigh..*
hi ppl, haven't been here recently and now I'm here to give some heartbreaking updates about my pigs. would be rather lengthy, so do bear with me..
On 8th May, about 3am, I reached home and found Sugar with 3 newborn babies(Arnie got her pregnant again before he was neutered)..One of them was still covered in the whole sac and was already dead. One was looking fine and healthy, and the 3rd had its umbillical cord and part of the dried up sac still wrapped around its lower body. After removing the cord and sac, her hind feet were still lifeless. One of her front paws was also useless, she was practically dragging herself along on one good front paw. She looked really terrible. I named her Forza(meaning Strength in Italian, hoping that it would give her more strength), and the healthy one was named Speranza(meaning Hope).
I was really upset and angry with myself at that time because I knew Sugar was going to give birth around that few days. For the past few weeks, i had been popping in and out of the room all the time to see if she was going to give birth, and I had read up Peter Gurney's pages to learn how to help Sugar remove the sacs from the babies to help them breathe if Sugar didn't do it. But that day, I was out with friends late till the wee hours of the morning, and I even took a short walk around the neighbourhood before I came home. I was really angry with myself for not being around when Sugar gave birth.
Anyway, I took some pictures then...
Forza's on the left and Speranza on the right.
another one of Forza's lifeless hind legs. the yellow stuff is some of the dried up membrane which got stuck to her fur. When i spotted this pair of legs under Sugar, I really thought it was another dead baby. It looked even worse then because it was wrapped up by the sac..
Forza died on 9th May around midnight. This was what I wrote at that time...
here i am sitting, typing with one hand, holding forza near to me in the other.
forza will be leaving me soon. don't know how much longer she can hold out.. how much longer I'll see her struggling and gasping for breath.
don't know if i should be glad that i get to hold her before she leaves, but nobody would understand the pain of seeing them kicking their legs, the spasms they have, the sounds they make, the struggle for help, but what i can only do is to hold on to them and not be of any help to alleviate their pain..all i can do is to watch on helplessly as the dim lights left in their eyes eventually fade away, and see their figures turn blur as the tears flow uncontrollably...
someone said that at this stage, they wouldn't feel the pain anymore. but how could one believe in that when you're there to see it for yourself.
how her legs kick now, as compared to when i first saw her, how dead and liveless they looked. how she shake and tremble so violently, and then strain her whole body, and baring her tiny teeth, trying to take in as much air as she could. then sometimes she lies so still i think she's gone...and then it all starts up again.
sometimes u can't bear to look, but you can't bear not to look as well. even not looking, just holding her in my hands and being able to feel her shake and tremble, to hear the occasional helpless squeaks, is more than enough to stab through my heart.
its hard to see them dead. it's even harder to see them dying. its when you don't know if you want them dead or alive, hoping that they wouldn't leave, but hoping that they'll just fall aslp and go peacefully.
perhaps i shouldn't have named you forza. maybe u wouldn't be struggling so much if u didn't have so much strength...
11.08pm
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
11.24pm.
She's gone. Forza's gone. The strength is gone.
Born between friday 7th may 7pm to saturday 8th may 3am. Gone on Sunday 9th may 11.24pm.
Her life was even shorter than Cloud and Snow. 2 days only.
why do they tear when they go. why do they leave their eyes open...
Some might think that I'm sick, but I took some pictures of her when she was dying, just to capture more of her before she left me. If you think you can't take it, then don't look on..I'm sorry.
In memory of Forza~
Doesn't she look just like a dead body.. but in the pic on the right, her hind feet were kicking violently...
spasms.. stretching her body involuntarily, arching her head..
Doesn't she look like she's dozing off? Cute isn't it? Fluffy like a baby bunny, only with round flat ears.
But they're not supposed to have fluffy fur like that, their fur are supposed to be straight and smooth... and.. if I removed my hand, she would have toppled over...and look like the first picture up there..
She looked healthy the second day when I looked in on them, but at that time I didn't thought of taking their pictures.. Not even a picture of her looking healthy and pretty..my fault..
Yeah..so that was what happened. It has been 2 weeks, and good news is that Speranza has been doing well, mummy Sugar as well.
On sunday, 23rd May, would be Cloud and Snow's first birthday. They were Sugar's first litter of babies. And sadly, their first year death anniversary is 3 days after that, 26th may. The babies were born in the morning on 23rd May 2003.Cloud left at 2:30am and Snow at roughly 4:20pm, 26th may 2003.
Cloud died the same way Forza did, and Snow died at the vet's. You'll never know how painful it is unless you go through it yourself I guess..
yeah that's all. I hope no one else would have to go through that.. cos it really sucked.
hi ppl, haven't been here recently and now I'm here to give some heartbreaking updates about my pigs. would be rather lengthy, so do bear with me..
On 8th May, about 3am, I reached home and found Sugar with 3 newborn babies(Arnie got her pregnant again before he was neutered)..One of them was still covered in the whole sac and was already dead. One was looking fine and healthy, and the 3rd had its umbillical cord and part of the dried up sac still wrapped around its lower body. After removing the cord and sac, her hind feet were still lifeless. One of her front paws was also useless, she was practically dragging herself along on one good front paw. She looked really terrible. I named her Forza(meaning Strength in Italian, hoping that it would give her more strength), and the healthy one was named Speranza(meaning Hope).
I was really upset and angry with myself at that time because I knew Sugar was going to give birth around that few days. For the past few weeks, i had been popping in and out of the room all the time to see if she was going to give birth, and I had read up Peter Gurney's pages to learn how to help Sugar remove the sacs from the babies to help them breathe if Sugar didn't do it. But that day, I was out with friends late till the wee hours of the morning, and I even took a short walk around the neighbourhood before I came home. I was really angry with myself for not being around when Sugar gave birth.
Anyway, I took some pictures then...
Forza's on the left and Speranza on the right.
another one of Forza's lifeless hind legs. the yellow stuff is some of the dried up membrane which got stuck to her fur. When i spotted this pair of legs under Sugar, I really thought it was another dead baby. It looked even worse then because it was wrapped up by the sac..
Forza died on 9th May around midnight. This was what I wrote at that time...
here i am sitting, typing with one hand, holding forza near to me in the other.
forza will be leaving me soon. don't know how much longer she can hold out.. how much longer I'll see her struggling and gasping for breath.
don't know if i should be glad that i get to hold her before she leaves, but nobody would understand the pain of seeing them kicking their legs, the spasms they have, the sounds they make, the struggle for help, but what i can only do is to hold on to them and not be of any help to alleviate their pain..all i can do is to watch on helplessly as the dim lights left in their eyes eventually fade away, and see their figures turn blur as the tears flow uncontrollably...
someone said that at this stage, they wouldn't feel the pain anymore. but how could one believe in that when you're there to see it for yourself.
how her legs kick now, as compared to when i first saw her, how dead and liveless they looked. how she shake and tremble so violently, and then strain her whole body, and baring her tiny teeth, trying to take in as much air as she could. then sometimes she lies so still i think she's gone...and then it all starts up again.
sometimes u can't bear to look, but you can't bear not to look as well. even not looking, just holding her in my hands and being able to feel her shake and tremble, to hear the occasional helpless squeaks, is more than enough to stab through my heart.
its hard to see them dead. it's even harder to see them dying. its when you don't know if you want them dead or alive, hoping that they wouldn't leave, but hoping that they'll just fall aslp and go peacefully.
perhaps i shouldn't have named you forza. maybe u wouldn't be struggling so much if u didn't have so much strength...
11.08pm
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
11.24pm.
She's gone. Forza's gone. The strength is gone.
Born between friday 7th may 7pm to saturday 8th may 3am. Gone on Sunday 9th may 11.24pm.
Her life was even shorter than Cloud and Snow. 2 days only.
why do they tear when they go. why do they leave their eyes open...
Some might think that I'm sick, but I took some pictures of her when she was dying, just to capture more of her before she left me. If you think you can't take it, then don't look on..I'm sorry.
In memory of Forza~
Doesn't she look just like a dead body.. but in the pic on the right, her hind feet were kicking violently...
spasms.. stretching her body involuntarily, arching her head..
Doesn't she look like she's dozing off? Cute isn't it? Fluffy like a baby bunny, only with round flat ears.
But they're not supposed to have fluffy fur like that, their fur are supposed to be straight and smooth... and.. if I removed my hand, she would have toppled over...and look like the first picture up there..
She looked healthy the second day when I looked in on them, but at that time I didn't thought of taking their pictures.. Not even a picture of her looking healthy and pretty..my fault..
Yeah..so that was what happened. It has been 2 weeks, and good news is that Speranza has been doing well, mummy Sugar as well.
On sunday, 23rd May, would be Cloud and Snow's first birthday. They were Sugar's first litter of babies. And sadly, their first year death anniversary is 3 days after that, 26th may. The babies were born in the morning on 23rd May 2003.Cloud left at 2:30am and Snow at roughly 4:20pm, 26th may 2003.
Cloud died the same way Forza did, and Snow died at the vet's. You'll never know how painful it is unless you go through it yourself I guess..
yeah that's all. I hope no one else would have to go through that.. cos it really sucked.